Safe Ways to “Play” at the Dinner Table

"A lot can happen under the table"

“A lot can happen under the table”


You’ve seen it in the movies before. Couples waiting at the dinner table at a restaurant get bored or turned on and start messing around. He’s fondling her, she’s giving him a handjob, and everyone is happy. How can you make that happen in real life? It’s not going to be easy, but it can be done.

Talk it Out

Springing your hand under her skirt while waiting for your soup might seem like it would play out really sexily in your head, but most likely she won’t really dig a random extreme display of affection. Instead try to talk to her before you go out. Knowing that you have a fantasy of dinner table play might make her more open to try new things. This is especially true if your sex life has been a bit more boring than normal lately.

Practice Makes Perfect

"Make sure that you don't get caught"

“Make sure that you don’t get caught”


So the one major downside of doing sexual things in a restaurant is that it’s kind of extremely illegal. You can get thrown out or even arrested. With that in mind you’re going to want to make damn sure that you’re really good at what you’re about to do. Set up your dinner table at home and wear something that you might wear to dinner. It could be a dress for her and a suit for you, or something less formal than that. This is serious stuff, so wear something realistic. It’s going to be hard, but try to act how you would in a restaurant too. At home we tend to be more lax and she might moan louder than she would even dare to in public.

Alright, so now is the time to practice your slickest moves. It will be easier for you if she’s wearing a dress and you can slip your hand under it. She might be super sexy and have no panties on. But if she does, it’s nothing. You’ve had enough practice dry humping and touching her to get around them. Her being able to unzip, unbutton, and pull you out is going to take a lot more skill. Let her practice as many times as she might want to. After all, if you’re going to persuade her to do your dangerous fantasy you owe it to her to be patient.

Put It to Use

You have two ways to go about this. One: you could head into the big leagues and book your favorite restaurant. Once you’re settled in, you can start the main event. Two: Invite some friends over and test it on them. The first option will get your adrenaline pumping more than the second, but is riskier. The second option is sort of like training wheels. It would still be really awkward if you get caught, but not illegal.

The Restaurant

When you do work your way up to the restaurant scene then try to get a table that’s out of the way. Back corners are the best. Also make sure that it’s not a family restaurant. That would just be rude.

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