Negging: the Backhanded Compliment

"Compliment her - but in a negative way"

“Compliment her – but in a negative way”


Negging is the term given when you act like you’re being nice, but actually aren’t. “You look really hot today,” with an emphasis on “today.” It’s both a nice and a not thing to say, and it throws women off balance while snagging their attention. Used properly, negging can get even the haughtiest woman at the bar to go home with you on a first date.

Dropping Her Confidence to Drop Her Guard

Women are at their best when they have confidence, just like anyone. However, their outer confidence is easily shaken with a few “harmless” remarks. Just pick out a distinguishing thing about her and make a comment about it. For example, if she has a rural accent, just say that it’s weird to hear such educated conversation paired with that accent. She’ll get flustered, but what you said was actually very nice. She’ll just have to keep looking over her shoulder, mentally reviewing everything she said or did.

This actually makes you look better in the long run. When she’s thinking about that she’s spending more time judging herself and less time judging you. That’s all for the good. While she’s distracted, you can follow up your neg with several genuine compliments and totally dazzle her. You look good, she doesn’t notice any minor flaws that she might otherwise have picked up on. The odds of the night ending in your favor have just skyrocketed.

It Makes You Seem Intelligent

Oddly enough, women perceive men who are critical of them as being more intelligent. This is possibly because you’re playing right into their insecurities. Women know what is “wrong” with them, from height to weight to make up and clothes. If you point out any of these flaws you’ll seem like a discerning man who can see through appearances. She’s got the whole world fooled but you see who she truly is, etc. This also makes the compliments that you give her seem more powerful than they are. If you, the man who’s not impressed, notice something good about her then it must really be good. It makes the empty flattery you give her sound sincere.

Don’t Overdo It

"Too much negging will make her lose interest in you"

“Too much negging will make her lose interest in you”


The temptation is to overuse negging because it’s just so useful. However, you should scale it back. One or two per hour is the max, and don’t keep even this pace up all night. You’re walking a delicate balance here. You want to seem intelligent, commanding, and confident while making her more self-conscious and grateful for your attention. However, overdo it and she’ll catch on. You’ll just look like an asshole, so use with caution.

If you’ve got the finesse to pull it off, negging can be the move that boosts your game into the stratosphere to score again and again. You might want to practice on low value targets at first (women you only sort of want to sleep with) so you can get the right balance before you go after the real prize.

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