How Soon is Too Soon to Ask to Go Home With Her?

When you’re on a first date with a sexy woman there’s only one thing on your mind. There’s a lot of good advice on making your move early in the night. You know she’s not just agreeing because she’s drunk, and it takes the pressure off the rest of the evening. But even if you know that you want to go home with her the second you lay eyes on her, how soon is too soon to actually ask her?

Too Soon

"Talking about taking her home right in the beginning will not work"

“Talking about taking her home right in the beginning will not work”


Don’t ask before the halfway point of your date. Whether you’re seeing a show and grabbing dinner after or you’d prefer lunch and then a matinee you still have a lot of time for things to go wrong. Asking for a second date before you’re even done with the first is a little presumptuous. Asking to go home with her before you’ve even eaten a meal or done an activity together is too far to even consider. Even if she really wanted to, she’ll be bound by society to say no. After all, she doesn’t want to be labeled “easy”. Keep your excitement to yourself until you’ve entered the second half of the date, at least.

Too Late

If might sound like a good time waiting to happen, but don’t walk her up to her apartment and expect more than a kiss goodnight. If you want to make plans, it can’t be the last minute, “So, I parked my car, how about some coffee?” plans you see on TV. By the time she’s walking you up to her door she’s already made up her mind about whether or not you’re getting lucky tonight. If she hasn’t said anything, it’s a little too late for effective hints.

The more time you give a woman to consider you the higher the odds that she’s going to find flaws. You have to strike the right balance between waiting long enough to make it seem like you’re not a pervert (whether or not you actually are one) and waiting so long that she can talk herself out of doing something fun and impulsive with you.

The Sweet Spot

"The best time to ask her to go home with you is at the end of the date"

“The best time to ask her to go home with you is at the end of the date”


The sweet spot for asking for a second date (or to go home with her, as that’s what you really want) is when the date is between two thirds and three quarters over. This is probably while you’re finishing up your main course in the restaurant if you eat after a play, or when you suggest that you and she take a walk after you leave the theater if you ate before you went to your event. She’s had long enough to form her opinion of you, but not so long that she’s had a lot of time to weigh the pros and cons of taking you to bed. Be casual, and pretend like you’re not hanging on her every word as she answers. If you appear huffy or hurt if she declines, you’re sealing your fate to never hook up with her. Ever.

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