Does she really intend to ever be with you, or does she just love having options? If you’re a nice man with decent prospects you might find yourself in the unenvied position of “on the hook.” Here’s how to tell if she’s got her hooks in you, and what you can do to shake yourself off of it one way or another.
What Does “on the Hook” Mean?
“On the hook” means that you’re an option that she has. When she’s thinking about her life, you’re a fall back position. A safety net. She gives you just enough hope to know that if she ever had to call on you, you’d answer. But she doesn’t really want you. That’s the hardest thing to accept about your situation. Despite what she may have told you, she doesn’t really want to be with you. She just likes the idea that she won’t have to be alone. You’re a confidence boost to her whenever she texts you and gets an instant response. Knowing that you want her makes her feel good about herself.
This might not sound so bad, but you don’t exist to be her security blanket. She’s leading you on just to boost her ego. Most importantly it’s a false hope for you. You’re spending energy that you could be putting into a woman who will be there for you catering to her ego. If she’s just got you on the hook, you need to cut your ties.
Some Signs You’re on the Hook
Women can influence you in a lot of indirect ways. If the woman you want is using these ways on you, you can bet that she’s only offering you empty promises. If she’s always dating a new guy but she’s telling you that the two of you can’t be together “right now” because of that new guy, you’re on her hook. You’re her eternal fallback.
She wants to hang out a lot “as friends”, but doesn’t pay her own way. If you’re paying for her ticket, her drinks, and her meal every time, you’re on a date. It’s just not a date that she’s going to acknowledge. She gets the perks of being with you while limiting you to friend status.
She’s always calling you up to complain how all men are terrible. These conversations can turn a little flirty, but as soon as she’s feeling good again she’s got to go.
How to Get off of It
Fortunately, getting off her hook is pretty simple. Just tell her that “right now” isn’t going to work for you. You’ve stopped chasing her. If she starts dangling things like “well, if things don’t work out with [insert name of guy she’s with right now]…” then you know she’s just desperate for your attention. On the other hand, if she seems relieved than she really does just want to be friends.
Being on the hook is one of the most emasculating things out there. If there’s a woman in your life who thinks she can just keep you around like this, it’s time to break free and get a woman who’s happy to have you.